FNRA meeting report by Dave Smith and myself (we are two different people Went to the NRA meeting. It was pretty funny. This one was what you'd picture an NRA meeting to be like instead of how they usually are (which is pretty normal and kinda boring). Hopefully Davey (dave ninja) will write it up for the daily take (duh). Watching a bunch of greasy old smelly guys talk about doing a web page. It was funny and painful at the same time 'cause we've grown up with computers and these are a bunch of guys that probably holler about computers taking their jobs when they're drunk in the titty-bars. "You got these things, interlocks, so that we can connect back to Warshington." First a couple of 'em called 'em hyperlinks, then the fat guy settled on interlocks. Then he had to explain computers and web pages and how you get a "site" and then using the internet you find out about things like how we should boycott Sacramento City businesses if Sacramento sues the gun manufacturers and I often check a site about fly-fishing and I type in some double-yews and then period initials and then period com then a slash and then some squiggly thing and then..... Both Dave Ninja and I wanted to jump up and say, "Okay goddamnit, we'll do it. Just stop talking about it!" We could've had something up in the time it took for them to talk about it (and before you get all smug and crud the Daily Take is made to look crappy for anything outside of lynx, Dave Ninja can make a decent page). This big big fat fat guy that made Ken Doose look like Ed Hunter, sat next to me (2-Ton Ken = Fatty Arbuckle & Ed = Ethiopian fashion model). I thought he was gonna bust through the folding chair. He hadn't bathed in a week or two, but he'd been layering on the Old Spice to cover it up. They passed around cookies, so we had NRA cookies. Only the peanut butter made it to us though. The vanilla went MIA. There were about 40 people there, half of them beardos or mustachios, and about half big and fat (usually the beardos, but not always). Then this fruity guy came in. He was wearing one of those Australian hats with the flaps and really super tight grey sweat shorts. He had the limp-wristed mannerisms, but he was wearing a wedding ring. He started babbling about how he gets stopped when he wears his gun in other Western states and how he pulls out a copy of the state constitution to show the officer it's legal. And how in Winnemucca, Nevada a peace officer told him that if saw him walking down the street with a gun he'd throw him to the ground at gunpoint and ask him what he was doing. In clear violation of the Nevada Constitution!!!! Then he started talking about how the NRA was nothing but talk and Charleton Heston was right when he said gun owners are second class citizens. And he said we were like a bunch of coloreds in the 60s that were too afraid to sit in the front of the bus. And he went on and on for like 10 minutes and the fat smelly guy next to me (as opposed to most of the crowd composed of fat smelly guys) said hey we try, and the fruit said, "Shut up, I've already heard your opinion." Then the black skinny guy said, "I don't mean to be rude, but shut up with your bullshit." Then the fruit started hollering about Charleton Heston and how he's our president and how back in Selma, Montgomery, and some other places, the black folk stood up for their rights (after the fruit saw the black guy he started saying "black" instead of "colored"). Charleton Heston says someone's got to get on the balcony and take the risk. Then he got disgusted that the NRA guys didn't want to walk around carrying guns (and reinforce the bad NRA reputation like this description). Then the fruit left. (ninja part) Ok, thats pretty good. Another good part after fruitie left was the raffle. They have a once a year raffle for a gun. The first prize was a ruger 10/22 rifle, second price a NRA knife, third prize a NRA big base coffee mug (the kind you can never get the bottom cleaned in). We'll we didnt win the first two prizes. They drew the third prize and drew the FNRA presidents name, he had donated the coffee mug so he didnt want it back. SO they picked another name. SUre wnough if was Bill Lonsdale. Bill had gone to one meeting with us. We told him thatWe told him on tuesday that we were going to tell him he won the rifle (since you had to be present to win and bill was playing softball in SF). SO of course he won, but they had to draw another name. But now bill will never believe he won. He'l lthink we are lying to him. And this is no April FOols joke.