FNRA meeting report by Dave Smith and myself (we are two different

Went to the NRA meeting.  It was pretty funny.  This one was what
you'd picture an NRA meeting to be like instead of how they usually
are (which is pretty normal and kinda boring).  Hopefully Davey 
(dave ninja) will write it up for the daily take (duh). 

Watching a bunch of greasy old smelly guys talk about doing a web
page.  It was funny and painful at the same time 'cause we've grown up
with computers and these are a bunch of guys that probably holler
about computers taking their jobs when they're drunk in the

"You got these things, interlocks, so that we can connect back to
Warshington."  First a couple of 'em called 'em hyperlinks, then the
fat guy settled on interlocks. Then he had to explain computers and
web pages and how you get a "site" and then using the internet you
find out about things like how we should boycott Sacramento City
businesses if Sacramento sues the gun manufacturers and I often check
a site about fly-fishing and I type in some double-yews and then
period initials and then period com then a slash and then some
squiggly thing and then.....  Both Dave Ninja and I wanted to jump up
and say, "Okay goddamnit, we'll do it.  Just stop talking about it!" 
We could've had something up in the time it took for them to talk
about it (and before you get all smug and crud the Daily Take is made
to look crappy for anything outside of lynx, Dave Ninja can make a
decent page).

This big big fat fat guy that made Ken Doose look like Ed Hunter, sat
next to me (2-Ton Ken = Fatty Arbuckle & Ed = Ethiopian fashion
model).  I thought he was gonna bust through the folding chair. He
hadn't bathed in a week or two, but he'd been layering on the Old
Spice to cover it up. 

They passed around cookies, so we had NRA cookies.  Only the peanut
butter made it to us though.  The vanilla went MIA. 

There were about 40 people there, half of them beardos or mustachios,
and about half big and fat (usually the beardos, but not always).

Then this fruity guy came in.  He was wearing one of those Australian
hats with the flaps and really super tight grey sweat shorts.  He had
the limp-wristed mannerisms, but he was wearing a wedding ring.  He
started babbling about how he gets stopped when he wears his gun in
other Western states and how he pulls out a copy of the state
constitution to show the officer it's legal.  And how in Winnemucca,
Nevada a peace officer told him that if saw him walking down the
street with a gun he'd throw him to the ground at gunpoint and ask him
what he was doing.  In clear violation of the Nevada Constitution!!!! 
Then he started talking about how the NRA was nothing but talk and
Charleton Heston was right when he said gun owners are second class
citizens.  And he said we were like a bunch of coloreds in the 60s
that were too afraid to sit in the front of the bus.  And he went on
and on for like 10 minutes and the fat smelly guy next to me (as
opposed to most of the crowd composed of fat smelly guys) said hey we
try, and the fruit said, "Shut up, I've already heard your opinion."
Then the black skinny guy said, "I don't mean to be rude, but shut up
with your bullshit."  Then the fruit started hollering about Charleton
Heston and how he's our president and how back in Selma, Montgomery,
and some other places, the black folk stood up for their rights (after
the fruit saw the black guy he started saying "black" instead of
"colored").  Charleton Heston says someone's got to get on the balcony
and take the risk.  Then he got disgusted that the NRA guys didn't
want to walk around carrying guns (and reinforce the bad NRA
reputation like this description).  Then the fruit left. 

(ninja part) Ok, thats pretty good.  Another good part after fruitie
left was the raffle.  They have a once a year raffle for a gun.  The
first prize was a ruger 10/22 rifle, second price a NRA knife, third
prize a NRA big base coffee mug (the kind you can never get the bottom
cleaned in).  We'll we didnt win the first two prizes.  They drew the
third prize and drew the FNRA presidents name, he had donated the
coffee mug so he didnt want it back.  SO they picked another name. 
SUre wnough if was Bill Lonsdale.  Bill had gone to one meeting with
us.  We told him thatWe told him on tuesday that we were going to tell
him he won the rifle (since you had to be present to win and bill was
playing softball in SF).  SO of course he won, but they had to draw
another name.  But now bill will never believe he won.  He'l lthink we
are lying to him.  And this is no April FOols joke.