Guest daily take from Smith and ed
From Dave Smith

My guest Daily Take submission (it's slightly different)


Man Punch Man

Ed Hunter and Mike Kellogg show up with a milk gallon size bottle of
whiskey and a package of beef jerky (Jack Link's Sweet & Hot) to watch
the Iggy Pop special on cable teevee.  Hira shows up a couple minutes

We drink and Mike hits a stopping point and goes home.  We drink and
Hira hits a stopping point.  Ed throws back her drink and gets quiet
and looks like he's going to pass out.  Oh boy, we all know that means
Tequila Ed is about to make an appearance.  Then it starts. 

"It's man punch man," Ed says stressing each word like he's discovered
the secret of life. "Man punch man.  Man punch man.  Man punch man. 
Well, I punch man."  Then he punches me in the belly and passes out. 

Ed of course, cannot and will not ever in his life pass out.  He just
slumps over for a minute or two holding a drink at an impossible angle
never quit spilling it.  Then comes back for more. 

"Dave, have you seen my pussy?  Have I ever shown you my pussy?"  Hira
gets up and leaves.  Ed continues, "Fuck you and your whole operation. 
It stinks.  Your whole operation.  It stinks.  Saturday at StateNet. 
Why?" Then he knocks over a bowl of melted ice and gets up to leave. 

I try to get him to stay and sleep it off on the couch, but no luck. 
He puts his jacket on upside down, and I offer him the couch again.  I
try to carry his bike downstairs, but he won't let me.  He picks it
up, slings it over his back, and trips on the first stair.  He falls
downwards out of control, but he doesn't actually fall over until he
hits the bottom of the stairs.  He lies in the ivy for a bit, and gets

The bike belongs to Mike and is too big for Ed.  He can't reach the
peddle at its lowest point, but he tries to ride away.  He weaves
taking up the whole sidewalk on 19th, barely misses a lightpost,
barely misses the bus stop, and then falls over.  He lies still for a
bit and gets up.  He makes a turn onto Capitol.  I wait and listen for
the crash. Ed doesn't dissapoint and I hear a crash off in the
distance.  It's after 1 am, I go inside to try to sleep and the noise

I've been hearing a weird noise at odd hours the whole time I've been
at my sister Cary's place while she's in Detroit.  I thought it was
someone sawing through something and I never paid much attention.
Yesterday I figured out it's the fat chick upstairs having sex.  She
just makes weird noises.  Last night she was humped all night long. 

It started around 1:30 and went until around 5:30.  It would've made
me mad but I was pretty impressed that that they humped all night and
those crazy weird noises were making me laugh.  Take a pigeon, shoot
in the throat with a pellet gun so it gets all raspy and loud, and
there you have it.  Well that crossed with an asthamatic hand saw. 

Cary called up this morning and I told her about it.  She said the fat
chick's room is above her roommate's room in the back of the
apartment.  I thought it was coming from above me.  Man, that fat
chick is loud.  I sang songs about the mating call of the fat chick in
the shower this morning. 

Today I go home for lunch and there's a message on the machine, "Hey
Dave, this is Ed.  I blacked out. I have roadrash on my head.  Did I
leave my glasses and Mike's bike at your house?  Call me." 

There's still half a bottle of booze and a couple good sized pieces of
jerky at the house.  Tonight's going to be a good night. 

---What happened to Ed after Dave's place?----

From Ed

So, Mike Kellog and I were at the Archbishop's house (his sister's
house) watching the Iggy thing on VH1 and I balcked out and woke up with
no bike and no glasses and road rash on my head. Last night, Los Huevos
practiced, and after that Jason and I went to Tristan's house, and then
to Dave's sisters' house and when he wasn't home, we went to the legion
and I stopped Coby from strangling Raj who probably had it coming. I
walked off and had a scotch on the rocks at hamburger mary;'s and some
guy just slugged me one right in the teeth. My teeth still hurt now. The
bartender wouldn't do a thing about it, so I called him a cunt and went
home and passed out but not before calling hamburger mary's about ten
times and calling the batkeep a cunt again,.