jan 8th 1999 y2k page v1.0

From daves@statenet.com Fri Jan 8 12:27:57 1999

Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1999 15:07:14 -0800 (PST)

From: Dave Smith

I'm sure you've heard a lot about the y2k problem and you were thinking to yourself, how would guys named Dave handle the y2k so you came here to find out. First you need a list of stuff that you need. Then you need some friends to share the work. Then you need a compound to guard against the looters and the poachers. Don't think that because we're all Americans that the annoying neighbor next door with the piercings and the tattoos won't come to poach your y2k canned corn. y2korn. He will. But you're better than him 'cause you're armed. He'll come knock-knock-knocking at your compound door with nary an Alf pog (the official currency of the y2k) and then as an American you can rightfully shoot him. Don't worry about him crawling off to die because it'll be January and really danged cold. If you're fortunate enough to live in a sunnier climate use the poacher's rotting corpse to attract birds to eat. Although, in all seriousness, I recommend cannibalism.

All you need for the y2k. Y2K Survival List Version 1.0

*Generator & lots of batteries for video games

*Atari Lynx

*Two 55 gallon drums of stabilized gasoline

*Two 55 gallon drums of water

*Chicken wire

*Mosquito hats (in the y2k giant mutant skeeters will attack)

*Videodisc player

*Leatherman

*Case of Duct Tape

*Two cases of Sterno

*Camping Stove

*Propane tank

*Case of toothpaste

*Fishhooks

*Safe-T Pins

*Wire saw

*Lots of Ammo and bombs

*Waterproof matches

*Snake bite kit

*Machete

*Ninja Sword

*Chainsaw

*Eye patch

*Knife sharpener(whetstone?)

*Water purification tablets

*50 pounds of dry beans

*Beano

*50 pounds of jerked beef

*50 cans of Dinty Moore Beef Stew

*50 cans of Chef Boyardee

*100 cases of beer

*Many cases of toilet paper

*Simple Syrup for y2k Mint Juleps

*Mint

*Barley and Hops (the soul and spice of beer)

*Alf pogs (currency after the collapse)

*a truck that can carry 2 motocycles and one or two 55 gallon drums of gas

*sand bag and sand and barbwire to stop the charging nutcases (like bill)

*a case of flares in case we run out of matches

*plywood and nails/screws to board up windows to protect our stuff

*change all of our money into gold

*Rifles with bayonets